The ONE Thing I Did That Shifted My Finances
Money is neutral. Our relationship to it is not. It’s very emotional and consists of messages—good or bad—received growing up and as adults. I learned this valuable lesson in 2017 from Kate Northrup, creator of “The Money Love” course. That revelation began a journey of re-thinking my money relationship, unearthing messages that created poor habits, and get serious about wealth building.
My Story
The first memory I have of money is our home and cars being repossessed. I’ll never forget standing in the yard on Alabama Street in Odessa, Texas watching our mobile home go down the street. Not longer after, all of the cars were taken. Before then money was some obscure thing I knew was needed kind of like we need oxygen. You can’t see it but you know when you don’t have it. As a kid, I was always fed, clothed, and had the things I needed. That event let me know we didn’t have it. It was also at this time that my dad’s third marriage was failing. I was unhappy in school. And felt very alone. Fear and avoidance became my two primary emotions, especially with money. I think if my dad and his wife had been happy, some of those emotions would’ve been less intense.
The message: money is scary.
Fast forward 30 years. I’m in my mid-forties. My husband’s business is in its death rattle. We’d tried to keep things afloat but the economic policies of the Obama administration were killing us. My business wasn’t bringing in enough to pay the bills, so we relied on credit cards for everything. We didn’t adjust our spending habits at that time because we just knew things would turn around. Fifty thousand plus dollars later, we realized nothing was going to change. In January of 2018, my husband closed his business down.
By that time, all of the cards were maxed forcing us to use cash only for food, utilities, mortgage, and other necessities. If we had money, we ate. If we didn’t have money, we didn’t eat. Thankfully, we always had just enough. This also meant that our credit cards only got paid if I had money left over. We got behind on two of our largest credit card bills for two months. Then the phone calls began all day every day. I avoided answering because there wasn’t anything I could do.
In the meantime, I tried everything you can think of. Debt consolidation. Hardship clause for cards. Selling everything. But when I did the math, nothing would put a dent in it or help. We didn’t have enough to sell to make that big of a difference. Debt consolidation didn’t help because the payment ended up the same with all of their fees. The card companies wouldn’t help us with the hardship clause because we didn’t have enough money to even pay it back under the clause! I looked into bankruptcy, but I just couldn’t do it. I believe in paying our bills if at all possible. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel bad who has had to file bankruptcy. Sometimes it’s a smart option.
Working Believer Offering
I knew something had to change. I had to get more money coming in so I put out the word I was looking for part-time work, which was embarrassing. I should be at a point in life where I’m comfortable financially. And getting a job as an entrepreneur made me feel like a failure. It was an admission that I’d failed trying to go at it on my own. I had just started Genius Communication (I’d had other businesses for decades but more hobbies than anything) and knew that would take a few years to generate income I needed.
In the midst of tremendous pressure (to the point I was losing my hair), I read a passage in the Bible that talked about how the righteous give to the poor (2 Cor. 9:9). I looked up the word “poor” and was shocked to learn that it refers to a working believer who needs a little help. I had no idea! I thought it meant someone who was destitute like a homeless person or beggars in the Biblical days. I learned from the rest of the passage that this is the key to independent wealth. You might think that’s a selfish motive to give, but God is a farmer. He knows that when you plant seed, you reap its harvest. From my own place of need, I decided to act on the word I just read!
I immediately arranged to give what I’ve termed, “my working believer offering,” to a person at one of my favorite businesses in town. I give these anonymously but still write a note explaining the working believer offering, request prayer for three specific areas, and encourage them to start their own working believer offerings. I got my note and offering ready on a Saturday super excited to give. I had the money, note, and envelope next to me on the couch when I received a call from one of my clients telling me that it would not be a good check. I was devastated but determined. It took me an hour to get in the right mind and heart for my offering, which I gave later that day.
Guys! From that point on, things shifted dramatically. This was one of many things I did during that time but it was a major one! However, it wasn’t the ONE thing that I’m about to share. However, it showed me that sowing into someone else’s life is planting seeds for your own change. That same week I got a part-time job that was a miracle and that allowed me to also work on my business while there! My husband got a job. And a new revenue source opened up in my business. The cherry on top was moving into our dream home with my father-in-law a year and a half later. However, I firmly believe none of these good things would’ve happened if I hadn’t done ONE thing first.
Here’s the One Thing
So what was the one thing? I’m afraid it’s going to be boring. And it’s not magical. But it’s key. The ONE thing that truly shifted my finances was when I decided to no longer avoid looking at the reality of my financial condition. I know. You might feel let down. But it’s true. None of the other things I wrote about would have helped at all if I hadn’t started with this one thing.
I’m going to go old school on you. Back in my day, we used printed maps when we traveled. I know. It’s shocking. But there weren’t GPS devices. Shoot, we didn’t even have cell phones yet. In order to plan a trip, you first had to know where you were at and locate it on the map. From there, you could plan your trip and decide whether you wanted to take the scenic route or the fastest route.
“Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly. It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.”
My destination was financial freedom. It meant a well-funded emergency savings, money for quarterly trips for my husband and me, money to reinvest and grow my business, funds to build our rental property business, and even more to give and invest in others’ dreams. I needed the fastest route! But I didn’t know where to start because I didn’t have an accurate picture of our current financial state. I was too scared to look. But one day I swallowed my fear, dug out bills, bank statements, and profit and loss statements and got to work.
It was NOT easy mainly because I was mad at myself. How did I let this happen? Why didn’t I do this sooner? Why did I keep pretending things would get better and not adjust my spending? What the hell is wrong with me?! But an amazing thing also happened. I felt empowered! I now had data. I had numbers. I knew exactly how much was going out and how much was (or wasn’t) coming in. Our situation was grim. But, again, knowing where we were gave me a starting point to create change. I was able to create legitimate goals and being a results-oriented person, I immediately set to work to achieve those goals. It also kicked off a journey of personal growth that uncovered why I let it happen, why I didn’t change my spending habits, and why I pretended things would get better.
In Summary
Fear is a powerful emotion that can paralyze us or cause us to run when we shouldn’t. The craziest thing I learned, though, was that getting an accurate financial picture wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Don’t get me wrong. We were in bad shape but the relief of finally having accurate data far exceeded the fear I had of looking at the data. Again, it was so empowering!
From that point on, I realized that putting off things was based in fear. Some things I put off because I didn’t want bad news. I put off other things because I feared failure. I then decided that any time I felt a desire to put something off, I was going to do it right then! It has served me much better than avoiding things.
We all have things in life that scare us. However, I’d be willing to wager that the thing you fear or dread (another aspect of fear) the most won’t be as bad as you think and the good you experience from FINALLY doing it will be worth it!
Since 2017, I’ve created weekly (minimal monthly) finance dates where I gather all of my receipts and record all income and expenses. I continue to give working believer offerings. Our income has more than doubled (almost tripled). I’m paying off another card this month. I regularly reevaluate our budget and know how much I can spend actually speaks to the part of me that loves a challenge and motivates me to come in under budget!
Wealth is attracted to where it’s well taken care of. I can testify that this is certainly true. Wealth isn’t just money and possessions. It’s good relationships, physical health, spiritual health, and all the things that make up a good life. All of these things must be well taken care of before they become terminal! Don’t wait as long as I did. If you’ve already experienced a couple of financial heart attacks, there’s time! It takes great discipline and effort; yet, it seems effortless in light of being empowered and go after your goals!