The Incredible Power of Influence
Transcript:
Hello! My name is Sherri Wilson, and I have to say how excited I am about today’s podcast because I’m about to give you an extremely powerful tool for change that most are oblivious to even though it’s everywhere— influence.
If you’re a true entrepreneur, you are always seeking out ways to be better. Better in your business. Better in your marriage. Better as a parent. Better as a person. That’s just what we do. It’s a key entrepreneurial trait. And I’m sure you know that one of the best ways to see how jacked up you are is starting a business. Entrepreneurship can make or break you! Can I get an “amen?!”
The other day I was brainstorming key things in my life that have caused exponential growth in me as a person and in my business. I immediately thought of my best friend Cindy and her positive influence in my life. She was key in helping me get out of my shell as an introvert. And then my hubby who allowed me to be me. He never tried to change me. And his confidence in me increased my confidence. And if you’re a parent, you know that being a parent is a crucible of influence unlike anything else. I mean, I was forced to become a better person because I was determined not to ruin my kid!
As I sat there thinking, I saw a pattern—all of these were influences.
And then I couldn’t help but think of my favorite Instagram influencers—Jenna Kutcher, Hilary Rushford, Amy Porterfield, Gary Vee, and Jasmine Star. All of these have powerfully helped shape my business; and, yet, I’ve never personally met them.
That is the power of influence.
WHAT IS INFLUENCE EXACTLY?
Dictionary.com defines influence as “the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.” Influence can be good or bad. It’s like the wind. A gentle breeze is refreshing and helpful, but winds that are too strong are damaging.
“Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.”
I’m sure you like me have been in relationships that weren’t a good influence and brought out the worst in us. And it’s easy to blame the other person. But I eventually learned that my lack of self-esteem was the real problem. I decided that I’d never give my power away and allow someone to make me worse instead of better. It also sparked in me a desire to ALWAYS make people better around me by bringing value everywhere I go.
even good influence can be bad
For example, I’m sure you’ve scrolled through Instagram admiring all of your favorite influencers and only to look at your Instagram compared to theirs and feel you will never measure up or get there. Comparison is when we allow what’s supposed to be a good influence turn bad due to our insecurities. Comparison is never a good idea.
Years ago, I came to the conclusion that people want my normal because my normal is pretty awesome! I have gifts, skills, and knowledge that to me are no big deal but to others, they’re life-changing. Once I realized that, I was able to get comfortable in my own skin and in the influence I have with others. It was then that comparison became an everyone-once-in-a-while issue instead of daily.
how to harness the power of influence
Just like wind can be harnessed for our benefit, so can influence. And often influence’s power is most effective when we are uncomfortable. Let me give you an example.
Recently, a couple from our church let me know that their daughter was coming into town to visit. Of course, this was pre-COVID-19. I was super excited and asked if they were going to bring her to church. Yes, they were. That Sunday came and went with no daughter.
At first I felt a mild irritation because a core value is for people to keep their word. But as the week went on, I could feel it growing into offense. I had thoughts like, “Are they embarrassed of our church? Of me? Are they afraid we’ll make their daughter uncomfortable? Did their daughter not want to come and talked them out of it?” By our Friday meeting, irritation had turned into a feeling of betrayal and disloyalty! I know! It’s ridiculous.
I recognized some of what was going on and was fighting it without much success. Everyone started showing up at our next Friday meeting, including this couple (by this time their daughter had gone home). I felt awkward and weird around them. You know how it is. You’re offended but trying to act normal.
We all sit down to eat before starting our Bible study, and they mentioned they were sorry they didn’t come to church so we could meet their daughter. I said, “Yeah, we were ALL disappointed.” The minute I said it I knew I was being petty. Who cares if they decided to stay home? They’re adults and can make their own decisions. Why was I letting it get to me? They had done nothing wrong.
The rest of Friday night and all day Saturday, I struggled trying to understand what was going on in me. And I felt bad for making them feel bad. I had broken my personal decision to use my influence to make others better not worse! I knew I needed to apologize. I did that Sunday in front of everybody and confessed my struggle while assuring them that they did nothing wrong.
Later that week I sat down with my journal and processed the why. I couldn’t stay upset because I valued them more than my personal right to be unreasonably fussy. My relationship with them forced me to be a better person. And that’s when this post was birthed.
I saw how influence could make me a better person if I embraced being uncomfortable long enough to process areas where I was messed up.
So here are two tips:
Allow those you value in your life to influence you to be a better person. Don’t just accept negative feelings or dismiss them. Instead process them in light of how important their friendship is to you.
Allow those you want to be like to influence you. This one can be tricky. It’s very easy to fall into comparison. The key is to stay authentic to who you are and celebrating those things while learning from the other person’s journey and wisdom.
“It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives.”
I’d encourage you to think about the power of influence in your own life—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Learn from those lessons. And think about your influence on others. Is it helpful or hurtful? Once you analyze the power of influence in your own life, make a core decision to live your life in a way that influences others for the better.