Understanding What Excuses Really Are

TranscrIpt:

Hey guys! Welcome to Work Your Biz Like A Boss. I’m your host Sherri Wilson, owner of Genius Communication, a business that helps my clients make more money, solve problems, and do business and live their lives on their own terms. I’m also a person who can smell BS a mile a way! And, today, we’re going to have a “Truth Meets BS” session. Let’s dive in!

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES

How would you define the word “excuse?” A reason for? A polite answer to? A release from? For example, we’ve all said, “I’m too busy,” when maybe asked to do something like exercise, volunteer, or, say, journal. But have you ever stopped to ask, why? Why do we immediately say, “I’m too busy?” And have you noticed that we feel justified and even relieved when we say that we’re too busy to do something? It’s like “I’m too busy” is a badge of honor.

This is one example I’ve seen a lot in my professional life. It started with my personal training business. I noticed that people would say that they wanted to exercise and eat healthy but they were too busy. I also noticed the same pattern among business owners. I’m too busy to exercise. I’m too busy to read and journal for personal development. I’m too busy to blah, blah, blah.

Recently, a good friend of mine had COVID. It was pretty darn serious. She is just now getting back to work after four weeks. She’s still very tired and weak. She had high blood pressure before and that sky rocketed while she was sick. And as we all know, COVID is especially serious for those with pre-existing conditions. I encouraged her to take this as a “lesson learned” and take care of herself, which she would do on and off but life changes and challenges would sometimes throw her off course. But I told her that my commitment to exercise and eating healthy is to me a life-or-death decision. It’s not for looks or weight loss; although those are important to me. It’s about being able to fight off something like COVID or run if in danger, or possess the strength needed as I age to keep me healthy and safe. Oh, and guess what. I’m busy. Real busy.

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS

I’ve been taking care of my body since 2011 after I got really sick with mono. I was sick for 18 months. I couldn’t go for walks, sweep my kitchen or even shower without being put in bed for days. That lack of freedom to be active forever changed how I view taking care of myself. I craved movement. I craved food that fuels my body versus drains my body. I’ve never looked back and have been training for 10 years straight. To understand how crazy that is—I was the kid that HATED PE. I never exercised by choice in my life! Until I couldn’t.

Since 2011, I have launched Genius Communication, a ministry, worked a part-time job, started four or five podcasts (I’ve lost count), a coaching intensive, written two online courses, moved, and more. The reality is we are NEVER too busy. We just don’t want to. Let’s be real. We use the excuse of being too busy as a pretext or subterfuge to hide that fact WE JUST DON’T WANT TO because we always do what we really value and want to do.

Are there times where we are super busy? Absolutely. Are there times where life interrupts our normal schedules? Absolutely. But those are seasonal. When I had COVID, I couldn’t exercise to the level I desired. But I didn’t stop eating healthy. In fact, I knew it was even more important. When I broke my foot, I didn’t sit on the couch all day and eat junk food. I did pilates and continued to eat healthy. Taking care of myself is non-negotiable. It’s life or death.

One definition of “excuse” is “pretext, subterfuge.” A pretext is “something that is put forward to conceal a true purpose or object; an ostensible reason; excuse.” Subterfuge is “to evade.” Any excuse that hides the reality of the fact that we just don’t want to do something is a pretext and a subterfuge.

The first step is to be real. Stop the BS. Own it. I’m using the excuse of “I’m busy” not to exercise or eat healthy since it’s used so much. But there are hundreds, thousands of excuses we use every day to avoid things we don’t want to do. Or, as was my case, we make excuses or procrastinate to avoid doing things we fear we will fail at.

When you find yourself about to throw an excuse out to others or yourself, pause. Why are you about to give that excuse? Are you afraid someone might think less of you if you tell them that you don’t want to volunteer? Are you afraid someone will think you’re lazy if you tell them you just don’t want to exercise? Who cares? At least you’re being honest.

MY ABSOLUTES

One of the things that has protected me during times of disruption and interruption is having my absolutes. No matter if I’m sick, abnormally busy, or whatever else might come up, I have three absolutes—God, coffee with my hubby every day at 5:00 PM, and exercise. That means everything else—a spotless house, a manicured lawn, social functions—are all either scheduled around those or delegated out to others.

What are your absolutes? Get those in place and don’t compromise. Treat them like a doctor’s appointment.

WHAT IF I WANT TO BUT…

Now that we’ve gotten past the BS, there are some of you that want to do certain things like journal, exercise, eat right, but you just can’t seem to make it happen. It always starts with the question, “What do you really want?”

Let’s be honest. You don’t really want to exercise (at least not at first). But maybe your desire is strength or flexibility or weight loss. What does that look like? Training twice a week with a professional? Being able to correct pain and stiffness in hips and knees? Playing with your grandkids on the floor? The ability to move something or do a project because you have the strength to do so? You then must cultivate that vision by writing it out and cultivating it regularly.

There’s a lot more to that process and I don’t have time to go into that today. But I can tell you that really honing in on what you really want, developing your vision for what it looks like once you achieve it, and getting your plan to execute it works. Desire + vision + action = goal achieved. And over time, you’ve created a new habit that nothing and no one can stop you from doing.