3 science-y Ways to Create Presence
Transcript
Have you ever experienced any of these “symptoms” when you walk into a networking event or a social gathering where you don’t know everyone who will be there?
Anxiety
Physical symptoms like sweating, dry mouth, and butterflies in your stomach
Insecurity
Threatened
Out of control
And a lack of confidence
Guess what that is? It’s called personal powerlessness. The problem with personal powerlessness (other than the uncomfortable symptoms) is that when you feel you lack power to control a situation, you view it as a threat. Feeling threatened prevents you from seeing opportunities, thinking clearly, and being flexible.
Personal power a.k.a. presence is when you feel:
Free
In control
Unthreatened
Safe
Unrestricted from social pressure
And attuned to opportunities
The Myth
One of the reason we introverts feel powerless is because we fear looking stupid. Here’s the reality—people are not thinking about you as much as you think. This is a scientific fact. Most are thinking about themselves.
Three Ways to Create Presence
The things I’m about to share with you I do all of the time. Most have no idea I’m an introvert let alone nervous, sweating, and struggling to speak around cotton mouth. I promise, these work!
Use powerful movement. Nerdy fact—body language shapes the mind. Closed body language like hunching, arms crossed over chest, and even being on your cell phone reduce testosterone (confidence hormone) and increase cortisol (stress hormone). Powerful people have a longer stride, more movement, and open body language. Walk with your head up and with confidence and that will inspire confidence!
Reframe anxiety. Another nerdy fact—your brain can’t tell the difference between anxiety and excitement. A quick trick is to say out loud with conviction, “I am excited!” Your brain will be like, “Oh! I thought you were anxious. Ok! Let’s turn on excitement!” By the way, telling yourself, “Keep calm,” does NOT work. It heightens your awareness of how calm you’re not!
Strike a pose. Holding a superman/woman or victory pose for 2 minutes boosts testosterone and lowers cortisol significantly! If you don't want to stand there feeling stupid, imagine yourself holding the pose. Nerdy fact—quadriplegics had the same hormonal effects by imagining themselves doing the poses.
In Summary
Practice makes perfect. The more you challenge yourself by attending events and networking and socializing, the easier it gets.
Some might possess a natural charisma, but I know that I’ve created charisma by using these techniques.
