I FINALLY Figured Out My Weight Loss Formula!
I’ve been “medically obese” (I hate those words) three times in my life—once after the birth of my son (I was able to make a few food changes and lose all of the baby weight), once after being sick for over a year-and-a-half, and then after I lost the “sickness” weight and decided I HATED eating the way I was eating, which was calorie restriction only eating 1200 calories a day.
The most challenging weight loss was after I was sick was a nightmare for two reasons:
I was approaching my 40’s making it a lot harder to lose excess weight.
I wanted to be healthy not just skinny.
I was raised in the 80’s when being “fat” was the worst thing ever! Fat shaming was a big deal even in families. Being skinny was everywhere—TV shows, magazines, commercials, movies. And believe it or not, the 80’s were an improvement from the 60's and 70’s when looking anorexic was the in thing. Just look up pictures of Twiggy. Everyone I knew was on a diet. It was the “cool” thing. I didn’t have to diet because I was skinny as a rail growing up. Those messages were strong and ingrained years later. Even today, I have to refocus when my thoughts go to “being skinny.” Losing weight after my son’s birth was all about being skinny.
Then I got sick in my late 30’s. I’d been super tired for a year-and-a-half before other symptoms appeared—anxiety, panic attacks, no sleep for days at a time, depression, excessive thirst. After useless doctor visits and many times in the ER, I was diagnosed with mono. It appears that for that previous year-and-a-half I’d had Epstein-Barr, and it finally turned into mono. I spent the next year-and-a-half in bed or on the couch. If I showered, I’d be worse for 3-7 days. I remember being so bored and feeling like a poor excuse of a wife that I got up and swept our tiny dining room. It put me down for over a week. That’s how sick I was. It was awful. And three years of very little activity resulted in 50 pounds of extra weight.
Skinny Fat
After being sick, I’d developed a lot of food allergies due to an overactive immune system, which meant cutting out gluten, corn, dairy, eggs, peanuts, and anything else that tasted good. It wasn’t hard to cut these out because I’d already limited my diet when sick because anything that turned to sugar caused panic attacks. After eliminating foods that made me still feel sick, I was ready to lose the weight but this time I wanted to be healthy! I worked with my PA (Physician Assistant) and lost the 50 pounds, but I ended up frustrated because even though I was a size four, I was still MEDICALLY OBESE in my fat percentage (you can be diagnosed medically obese even if you’re only 1% higher than your ideal body fat percentage)! And my metabolism went from 1500 to 1198. What that meant is that I could just look at food and gain weight. My food choices were restricted even more and any enjoyment in eating was gone.
Me skinny fat. Skinny on the outside but medically obese on the inside.
So I did something about it. I became a certified personal trainer that specialized in High Intensity Interval Training. I mainly selected that type of training because it was fast, and I saw immediate results. I could eat more variety and more calories and still reduce my body fat percentage. I went from 29% to 22% eating Paleo and doing HIIT. I was a size 8-10 but my body fat was nice and healthy so I didn’t care. Once I reached 22%, I decided to start re-introducing some healthy carbs along with one cheat day.
It All Came Back!
I was bored with my workouts and wanted to shift my focus from HIIT training to weight lifting because I loved it! I switched things up slowly at first from HIIT six days a week to three and then three days of weight lifting. I loved weight lifting so much, I decided to go to four and then five days a week. I changed from HIIT workouts to doing sprints intervals after my arm days. But I wasn’t gaining bulk or strength. After research why I couldn’t gain muscle, I learned that I needed more carbs. And this, my friends, caused even more frustration because I didn’t gain strength nor bulk. The only thing I gained was all the initial weight I’d lost. Here I’d gone to school for personal training, which includes some education on eating, and I couldn’t figure it out.
A Quick Disclaimer
If you struggle loving yourself and your body, this blog post might be freaking you out because I had a specific fat percentage and size I was working towards, which is contrary to the love your body movement. I’ve had people tell me that it doesn’t matter. As long as you love yourself and your body, size doesn’t matter. That idea became a prison for me. I felt guilty for wanting to lose weight and be the size I wanted to be. It felt like the fat shaming of the 80’s had turned into weight loss shaming. I knew what size I felt confident at, which is important for me mentally and emotionally. I was eating healthy and clean. I felt energized and strong. But I just couldn’t reach my weight training goals.
I appreciate the hard work of ladies that have built a movement around loving your body just how it is. It’s wonderful! But I’ll never forget the day I decided that there was nothing wrong with me wanting to reach my physique goals. It was my body. I wanted to do it. I was eating healthy. I was exercising. And I felt comfortable at a certain size. So I threw off the shame and went for it…for three loooonnnggg years not making any progress.
I Don’t Believe in That!
I tried everything to lean up and create muscle. I split my macros 40/35/25. 45/35/20. 45/45/10. Any number combo you can think of I tried it. But I could not find that “magic” combo of protein/carbs/fat. If I went high protein and low carbs, I lost muscle. If I went with more carbs, lower protein and low fat, I gained bulk but also fat. I just couldn’t figure it out. I was so frustrated and wondered if I’d ever discover how my body wanted fuel to reach my weight lifting goals. On top of that, I have a sister that seemed to be able to eat whatever she wanted in how ever many quantities and still be lean and gain muscle.
And then the keto craze started. Everywhere I went someone was either telling me about a friend that melted off fat eating keto or the benefits of intermittent fasting, which gets you into ketosis temporarily (although it’s really calorie restriction). It was annoying! First, I didn’t believe in radically cutting out an entire macro. What were the long term effects? Was it maintainable? Was it just as restricting as the initial diet I went on that made me skinny fat? And then I read a book by a trusted doctor who had begun collecting empirical data years before keto even became a thing. I was amazed at how it helped some of his cancer and Alzheimer patients. But what I really liked was much of the food on the “keto list” was what I loved! Bacon. Eggs. Nuts. Fresh veggies. Beef. Cheese. Oh, and did I mention bacon?
And, so, I took the plunge! I researched what all I’d need like MCT powder, keto sticks to see if I was in ketosis, coconut oil, and BHB salts. I revamped my macros to moderate protein, 15-20 grams of carbs, and the rest fat. I revamped my meal plans and my snacks (mourning some of my most loved snacks) and bought all I’d need for my keto coffee, meals, and snacks. That was the hardest part. I had to learn how to eat again.
I had no problem eating keto. Occasionally I’d crave some Greek yogurt and a granola bar. But mostly, I was in hog’s heaven (it was all that bacon lol). I loved all of the foods on the keto list! I did struggle with snacks because you can only eat so much cheese! I found some delicious keto bars that taste like Snickers (Atkins Endulge Treat, Caramel Nut Chew Bar)! I was so energetic that I actually became chatty, which was annoying to my introvert nature, and I’m sure everyone else. And then about four days in, I woke up in the middle of the night nauseous. I knew I was experiencing keto flu. It’s where your body is figuring out how to change from burning sugar for fuel to fat for its fuel. I drank a cup of salt water and was fine. That was it. I think eating clean helped with that a lot. I’m also thankful I’d done all the research so I knew what to do and what was happening.
They Lied!
After about six weeks, I was frustrated...again. I was losing but it wasn’t “melting off” like everyone said. At that point, I was feeling very hopeless. I’d tried just about everything. So I had decided that since I liked eating keto best, I’d just continue with it in spite of fat not melting away. I was making gains in strength and bulk from my workouts. I was sleeping better and needed less sleep because of that. I was energized. And felt better than ever! Plus I’d reached my goal before a trip to see my sister and mom so I could enjoy a cheat meal or two while there, which by the way resulted in my gaining about five pounds. It took me a good two weeks to get back into losing weight. I learned that in those early months to just keep your head down and not eat cheat meals.
And then something happened. My body became a fat-burning machine. It was like a switch was flipped and the weight melted off. I had to buy all new jeans, give away a lot of my tops, and dig out some of my old favorites that were too small. I can see my muscles now. I feel confident and happy. I suspect part of the switch was a new thyroid supplement I began taking. I could tell it was working from day one and that seemed to turn my turtle-paced weight loss into rabbit-paced weight loss!
This blog is not to push you into eating keto. I wrote this to show you that there is no one-size-fits-all for healthy weight loss. I wrote this for those of you that feel bad for wanting to lose weight. I wrote this to show you what worked for me because maybe it will work for you.
Your body is unique. And only you can find the combo that works for you. Eighty percent of it will be what you’re eating. Once you figure that out, exercise is the speeder upper (yes, I just made up that phrase). I was driven to find what worked for me because I wanted to continue weight training and knew that I had to see changes or I’d quit. My reason can’t be your reason.
You have permission to go after the body you want without any shame.
You have permission to embrace how different your body is and find what works for it.
There is no magic formula. It will take work. It will take patience. But if you keep going, you will find your weight loss formula!